My Brilliant Idea

You know what the best part of parenting is? Bedtime.

Sound harsh? Maybe. Do I always feel like that? Of course not.

But today I did.

Today was one of those days when any level of noise, even the lowest level, was like fingernails on a chalk board to me. And the kids picked today to forget entirely what inside voices mean.

See…my kids have this thing. It involves luring me into a false feeling of living like June Cleaver with well behaved children all sitting at the table with smiles, holding their freshly sharpened #2 pencils, doing their homework in what has to look like a Kodak moment on crack…until one of them gets mad at the other one for lord-knows-what, and then there is this animalistic break-glass scream that lasts about 4 seconds. It’s the kind that I physically feel from the back of my neck down to the pit of my stomach which exits out of my body-as a hot flash enters in to replaces it.

It’s painful.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that I need a Gerbil wheel. A life sized one. Because I would put the kids in it and give it a Wheel Of Fortune determined spin so they would have to run like mad to keep from landing on their heads.

I’m going to get my pencil and paper and go draw up some diagrams so I’ll be prepared when I go to Lowes tomorrow.

Signed:

Gerbil mom