The Colonoscopy Diaries – part 1

A lot happens when you turn 50. The joy of inexperience is behind you, as well as the mistakes. The joy of looking ahead to new paths that you now have the time, and means, to explore. The joy of knowing what you became when you grew up.

And your age 50 first colonoscopy.

And that is where I am now. Today, in 2 hours, I will start prepping for mine which happens tomorrow at 9:30AM. Yehaw. My last meal (breakfast) was a good one. But for lunch, all I could have was a liquid diet of things like broth,  jello, and popsicles.

I had none of these things in my kitchen.

I realized at 1 PM today that I really need to get more organized and plan better, but in my defense after sitting at CVS last night for 45 minutes waiting for my prescription to be filled for the gallon of liquid I have to drink – I just wanted to come home instead of going to the grocery store. Plus, CVS had no Jello or popsicles. I looked. Hard.

So yes…about the gallon liquid. At 6:00 I will start drinking 8 ounces every 15 minutes until it is all gone. And then I will be hugging the bathroom.

I have a wee suspicion that I was a bit annoying to the nurse, who I called today with questions on my diet plan for today. My instructions say drink only clear liquids you can see through, but yet coffee and soda was listed as acceptable. So I called to question that. I started out letting them know I was scheduled for an appointment tomorrow and made the mistake of saying I am scheduled for an Endoscopy. “Endoscopy or colonoscopy?” the nurse questioned. “Oh, colonoscopy, hahaha, sorry!” I answered. “Well, colonoscopy and endoscopy are two completely different things”, she chided. And I responded by saying, “Yes, yes they definitely are, hahahahaha.”

She didn’t laugh with me.

I also had to hold while she went to ask the doctor if it were okay for me to chew gum or suck mints, because these things are important! I had to know!  “Do you have popsicles you could eat instead of wanting to have gum or mints?” she asked.  “No”

I’m sure there were some eye rolling going on as I sat there listening to the soft on-hold music as she had to go track down a doctor to ask if I could have a Lifesaver.

Part 2 coming up, where David keeps suggesting plans for this evening, and I keep reminding him that I can’t go anywhere because I will be hugging the bathroom.  He is not 50 yet, has never had a colonoscopy, and is pretty much clueless about what I am going through.