5 Tips on cleaning the bathroom when you have boys.

You walk into your guest bathroom and see pee splatter on the back of the lid. If you have little boys you know what I’m talking about.

So you size it up. And classify it.

1) Small and semi transparent: Nah…you have at least another full day before worrying about this. Go pour yourself another cup of coffee and enjoy looking at cute animal videos on Facebook.

2) Growing a bit in size but still semi-transparent: It still looks manageable and hasn’t entered the category of things that are disgusting to moms yet, so mosey on your way and focus on your laundry. Because your kids have no more clean underwear for bedtime tonight. Where are your priorities?!

3) Same size as the day before, but .006 Centimeters thicker and is now showing signs of butter cream opaqueness: Now it is time to start letting this bug you a tiny bit, BUT NOT MUCH!  It is still the same diameter as it was yesterday and unless you get at eye level to observe the thickness (and who does that anyway) you will never notice. Put this on your chore to-do list. At the bottom.

4) Diameter mysteriously expanded 1.3 inches all around and is now deepening to a medium shade of crayola’s burnt umber:  Classification has changed to serious and needs your attention ASAP. ASAP can be a broad term here and subject to your interpretation.

5) Diameter has not grown but the color of burnt umber is getting more saturated and sticky. You now have flakes of toilet paper dried on top and also something else you aren’t sure of what origin: It is now time to put this at the very top of your chore list and stop being so lazy. Put on a pair of rubber gloves and grab the comet. Or grab your green cleaner if you are one of those.

And then repeat tomorrow beginning at number one, because we all know a clean bathroom is only clean for 26 SECONDS!

However, there is one thing that changes this step by step process and should be noted.

The Mother-in-Law.

The following should be inserted after each point 1 through 5, if you receive a phone call that she is dropping by to see the grandchildren.

For all things holy and divine, stop what you are doing right now and run like mad to grab the comet, Windex, paper towels, broom, dustpan, and a CLEAN HAND TOWEL!! And a trash bag!!! Because your bathroom trash can is over-flowing and oh my gosh don’t you ever empty it anymore??

Disclaimer: Yes I know I spelled manageable wrong in one of my graphics above but I’ve already closed Photoshop and it takes forever to open and I am very impatient and busy so it will just have to stay that way. And I am not sorry.